You’ve got a permanent line
In your arm like an anchor, weighing down your mind
You can sink or swim, but please don’t drown this time.
You take blood transfusions,
From books and dead musicians
You sing ‘O positive’
But you’re far from positive.
We could have been together
But now we’re always separate
Like how two planets orbit
Never touching, but close enough to feel some warmth.
Four A.M. in the swimming pool,
And you pretended,
You knew how constellations move.
Before we drank our body’s worth,
You said you were scared to fly –
Said you were more of a river-guy.
We swam, off balance
Drowning together, in solid air –
You said you were scared to care.
Oh, but life is good sometimes.
And that song still reminds me
These rare events arrive when
You feel the most real,
And that everything else must be a dream.
"The nervous tension I’d been feeling for months broke
And strangely, I laughed.
Then I went to my bedroom and I laid down,
And in my tears, and in the heaviness of everything I drowned.”
– Mark Kozelek
"I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what to do."
"What does your soul say? What does your conscience say?"
"I don’t know… I can’t hear her over all the death and the uncertainty and the static. I’m always told to listen to my heart… to listen to my ‘self’, but lately I feel so thin that if I reach inside myself for answers, my skin might tear and all my existence will flood out and collect in uncertain, grey pools on the floor.
All of my battles rage close to the surface. There is no depth or weight to my conflict. There are no subtle hues in the choices of my life, only black and white – right and wrong – success and failure; and pain.
I feel thin.”
I have so much love for Gould. In my opinion, there is no finer performer of Bach, Schoenberg or Gibbons on the keyboard.
I worry about you.
Not in a critical way, but in the way a father will sometimes get a sting of pain at the thought of bringing another soul into a horrible world. But then, I think about that father or that mother, and I know that this wouldn’t stop them.
Because sometimes I imagine being with…
Marvellous. I 100% get this vibe.
Uncle Walt showed me the inside of his self.
And as noted in ‘Song of Myself’, his self is different to himself.
That’s why i feel privileged.